Finding Victory In Selflessness

As I sit down in my most valued space of my room, my mind is bombarded by the idea of how many feels come across the soul when my fingers hit the keyboard in hopes just to scratch the surface of my relationship story. An area so often discussed in life magazines, how-to books, and in the midsts of friends or family lives. A place where some might jump for joy, a few run for the hills, and others bypass the subject altogether. Then there's me. The girl who feels constantly inspired to talk about everything she is learning in her walk. The great stuff and even the not so good stuff too.  

Fearless to speak my mind. Ready to share my heart.

I'll be the first to say, relationships and marriages have never been promised to be as easy as A, B, C and 1, 2, 3. Being with someone who has consistently stayed committed to me for almost seven years now is one: a blessing of a journey everyday. An expedition I never expected as a teenager, from the boy with the skater hair, skin tight jeans, and giddy sarcasm. Little did I know this man would use a four letter sentence to sweep me into his life forever. 

"I like your shoes" he exclaimed. 

Since being married to Brandon, I have learned more about him and his character than ever before. He is a man of incredible patience, full of life, humbly protective and he's almost always the first one to apologize (CAN I GET AN AMEN?!). He is someone of few words, but it doesn't take long to find him easy to love. 

So why did it take an act of I - do's for me to fully grasp the understanding of who he really was? If someone were to ask me that question in person, I can honestly say it would take some work for me to hold a tear or two back. Just writing the answer out amongst a computer screen displays itself to be difficult enough. And I know the real reason why. Expressing negative parts of ourselves is definitely not something we take pride in doing on social media. 

It exposes the raw parts of who we are and it takes a whole lot of  h u m i l i t y

So here it is. Untamed. Unfiltered. Undone. I was selfish

I lacked consideration for my best friend and concerned myself with what would be best for me throughout the growing stages of learning about one another early on. Remember how I mentioned before that a relationship isn't promised to be easy? They can look glamorous on the outside, but they're never perfect because we're not perfect. I personally like to call it perfecting in progress. A promise aiming to continually show grace, love hard and grow together. 

I'm no longer ashamed to share the idea that I haven't always had a fairytale ending to our little lack-of-sleep arguments or lifestyle disagreements. Like one of my best friends always sheds light on, time is our friend. There's a process path we have to walk in. I'd say, if there's one thing I've learned along the way is that the truth is better dealt with exposed. No matter how difficult it might be to express your imperfections to your significant other, to close friends you love or even yourself. Every part of what we experience that is painful has beauty behind the doors of your heart. A place where true freedom thrives.

I loved myself far beyond measures of what I should have. This resulted in facing the fact that I merely knew smaller details about B than I wanted to and the deeper relationship I knew God wants His people to experience. For me, marriage was my personal turning point. My chance to serve through love like never before. 

We are called to walk in victory, my friend! There is true deliverance found in loving others before ourselves. Lifting up those that we do life side by side with. We are given the opportunity to shine a light to meet the needs of others. This is where I find freedom because I become free from myself.

I challenge you today to take some time to be real, whether that is with a friend you trust, a mentor you appreciate, or even yourself. Like I mentioned before, this wasn't an area I thought I needed to worry about in my own life, but as I look at my life now in reverse, I can sense God working in me to focus on selflessness. He who does a good work in me will be faithful to complete it! 

Welcome to Tiffany's Korner! I'm so happy you stopped by! There's always something new to read about weekly, so enjoy your stay and feel free to come back and visit! xoxo

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